Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Introverted? Extroverted? Somewhere in the middle?

Can't help but think about which one I am. Introverted or extroverted.

So, I came across two links. One video on the The Power of introverts - Susan Cain and one article in the Times of India - Agony of introverts in a loud nation (By Anand Soondas - 24 June 2012) Both speak about how 30% of the world is introverted. In other words, one out of three people are introverted. So, what about the other two? Are they these loud, clammering extroverted people? Is one of them somewhere in the middle?

I talk a lot and incessantly at that, am loud, full of energy and have a million thoughts, sometimes irrelevant and unconnected to each other in my mind, several straying out in unconnected lines of speech at times, but does that mean I am extroverted? I am married to a man who hates talking, even making restaurant bookings, talking to pharmacists, to the landlord, the house-help; Not that he cannot, he doesn't like to unless forced to. So, is talking less introverted-ness? And just because I do without much trouble, does that make me an extrovert?

I can imagine several people out there who are like me and can talk, but would be extremely out of place and not so at ease when in a room full of twenty-five people you don't know. We are nervous before interviews, skeptical of entering a new bar and not looking cool while placing an order, can get caught off guard by a very well-spoken doctor, prefer to send an email to the facilities guys in the office to fix the printer and can just be the same old shy people we imagine introverts to be. But we can also be the people who start the conversation on a group chat, who make plans to watch movies with friends, pick up the phone and call our support groups, ensure to crack that joke and make asses out of ourselves just to make that friend feel better, can still make presentations to clients with practiced ease.

What's different then? I would imagine the fact that we are completely comfortable in our very own small circles. We are extroverted to our circle of friends. There is this select group of people who see the true and real madness in us and to them we are the most outgoing, loud people they know. But to the people we travel with in the bus, the people who see us alone in cafetarias, the people who see us buy groceries alone and do our laundry by ourselves, we are perhaps quiet and introverted.

We're stuck in between and personally, it's not a bad place to be. It's nice to have my own shell, my own boundaries and to make it better, not be alone within. To know how far to be able to go to peel off the guarded self of my personality and yet know that I'll be still not be the obvious and predictable person to the world.

Point being, it makes me now want to look around for research on a new breed called ambiverts and that's the new word, I'll remember to use in the 'Describe Yourself' section on a form the next time.