Nowadays there are whatsapp forwards going around about
everything – its almost as if all the world’s love lessons and moral science
teachings are left to pass on only through whatsapp. All those “Love your
daughter”, “A mother is special because…”, blah blah forwards – effectively we’re
running our very own versions of Hum saath saath hain on social media (great
timing on this reference by the way! *blogger pats self on back*). When it comes
to spouses though, there’s just ruthless memes and jokes – either mocking the
female partner’s low IQ, or the male’s propensity to drink, or both’s to ignore
a child and become phone addicts. Has no one ever wondered to share anything
about how important one’s spouse is to one’s life? It is amazing, how the one
relationship which we try to pick for ourselves, the one person who we will see
for the longest period in our lives, is relegated to the comedy genre in media.
Yes, accept it. In likelihood, you will see your spouse for
the longest time in your life (assuming they don’t get fed up of you) – Longer than
you’ll probably see your children, longer than you’ll see your parents maybe,
longer than you’ll see any friend even. Plus, you’ll see them first thing in
the morning, last thing at night.
Spouses are important in more ways than one – Besides the whole
fact that they provide you with love and togetherness, they are around for more
than you realize. They see you at your worst – literal worst. I mean they can
be the ones who can live with you even if you’ve grown an upper lip worthy of
competing with Shikhar Dhawan. And vice versa, you live with them if they’ve
not shaved in days and celebrate No-shave November even in June; if they grow
beer bellies, or lose hair. Spouses are around for the after-show; after all
the lights go off and the make-up comes off. They’re around for the real deal
and they stay. They don’t have an exit pass or a pack-up time. Besides dealing
with replusive physical appearances sometimes, they also deal with you when you’re
most vulnerable. They’re around to see that despite the fact that you may be this
corporate gladiator, fighting board room wars, cutting winning deals, getting everything
broken fixed, you might be scared of thunder; or a lizard. They deal with your
squeals when you spot that ugly creature crawling on the wall in front of you;
But they also deal with your insecurities when you pour your heart out about
how work is getting to you. Sometimes, they even let you use them as a punching
bag when you need to vent and be a completely selfish alligator.
They’re with you when you get that dreaded phone call that
tells you someone in the family passed away. They hold you, sit with you and
let you cry till it is time to get up and go to the funeral. And they come with
you. They don’t get to say No, or distance themselves from a tragedy. Your sorrow
is their sorrow. They hang around for all the tears, pain and heartbreak –
always.
They act as great priests hearing out your confessions if
you did something wrong and making you feel ridiculously guilty about it – but then
in the bargain making sure you fix it and do the right thing. I think my
morality tree has grown manifold like a successful Farmville piece of land
might, thanks to the mister.
Its not just these really large and mighty things that they’re
around for. They do the little things as well – basically the whole deal. Whether
it is bringing thermometer at 2 am to check why you’re warm, or whether it is
finishing off that really bad piece of apple pie the host forced on to your
plate at the party, or whether it is meeting your friends on your birthday when
they’d much rather just chill. They’re around for all things good and bad. It
is despicable that all we choose to share when we talk about spouses is about
them forgetting anniversaries, or becoming fat, or showing the wives throw
money on clothes and jewelry while the men are getting drunk. We need to stop the
hypocrisy and misrepresentation – not all parents are perfect, not all children
are perfect and God’s gifts and not all married relationships are irreparable
and imperfect. They deserve much more than memes and laughs.
