Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Can a man change a friendship?


It’s true that when two women discuss their lives and complain about the sorrows of singleness, they look for emotional comfort in each other. They expect each other to be there every time some strange incident reminds them of the perceived unfortunate single state they are in. These women look for their men in the world and sympathy in each other. But what happens when they find that Mr. Perfect?

This is when they drift apart from everything and everyone that reminds them of their historical misery. The friend they looked to for comfort becomes an outlet for their unbound joy their love brought into their life. They wouldn’t care if that girl-friend were single, pathetic or lonely. This is truly the defeat of a friendship. A friendship that is built on trust, faith, pacification and companionship.

Sometimes, people forget that though they are in love, the rest of the world isn’t. Their friends and the people in their life are genuinely happy for their treasure but they do resent the fact that they’ve lost the person they became friends with. In love people do generally invest most of their valuable time cementing their relationship by modifying their tastes to suit each other. They forget however, that they end up in a character metamorphosis at times and the people who once cared might not ‘love’ this.

The friend with whom you shared the smallest of details of your regular mundane life in addition to anything that brought a spark to your day might not know anything about your day now. How would it feel knowing that someone who told you which side of the bed they got up on or what flavor of ice-cream they ate didn’t share something of much greater proportions with you? It’s a painful experience to have to share your time, your space, your right and your friend with another person.

The best of friendships disintegrate by one blow, one person, and one new relationship. Is it all worth it?

What if it wasn’t? If this new found love can walk into your life like a hurricane and turn things upside down, it can leave like a devastating storm too. Every true relationship you give up because of your love won’t curse you or wait for your love to leave but will leave broken and hurt. While you won’t be present to see that pain ease, that person will move on with their life hoping that you stay happily ever after. What if you don’t? Do you expect to find comfort in those same arms? Do you expect that friend to wipe your tears when they’ve learnt how to wipe their tears alone, thanks to you?

You need to know where you’re going but you can’t afford to forget where you came from. You need to draw your own boundaries and learn the importance of each relationship. And don’t ever be selfish enough to hurt a heart that cares for you and wants the best for you at the cost of few fleeting moments of joy. Then alone will love conquer and so will the friendship that was born long before love made its stride.

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