From 2018 March Me to 2019 March Me...

On the right is a far happier person - Dec 2016 and Oct 2018

So, as I aged gracelessly slipping closer to a mid-life crisis than I want to admit, having missed a root touch up in time to clear up the Indra Gandhi greys in the front, I’ve been wondering. Its been a fruitful, yet demanding year. It took away one of my favourite people, my Aunty. But, it gave me a lot to do, a lot to be happy for, a lot to look forward to this year. Here’s a list of seven things that totally totally top 2018. I can’t wait to see how the next year turns out!



1. JOWO
Yup, yup you read that right. I discovered I already happily suffer from JOMO, which is the new buzz word everyone on social media is sharing (Including Malaika Arora apparently!). I love sitting at home doing nothing, watching television, rather than socialize with a bunch of people I don’t care very much about. But, what I discovered and what really changed my life this year, was a discovery that I have a Joy Of Working Out. Yup, take a moment. Let that sink in.

The very same old me who would sometimes not walk till the water cooler and look for candidates I could outsource this to, spent 75% of the year since my last birthday, waking up at 5 am, popping dry fruits and heading out to work my intestines out for the next one hour. It wasn’t just the weight loss, it was a lighter and happier heart, a more positive body image in the mirror, a sense of happiness that I hadn’t felt in years. Also, muscles I hadn’t felt in years started waking up.

I love my trainers (some are also incredibly good looking 😃 ), I love my watch tell me my heart rate has hit 174 bpm during cardio and love that soreness when I hit the bed after a new workout (And I’ve tried seven forms so far). Sweating it out, even on mornings when I didn’t want to turn the other side and spoil my sleep has taught me a lot of things – Caring for my body and my health. I haven’t changed a single thing in my diet, so I still chomp on EVERY single thing like before because I know I cannot sustain a random-ass diet which lets you eat nothing for months and then suddenly you explode because you’re back on Rajma. But I did understand that I didn’t need four gulab jamuns. I needed just one to make me happy, the other three were binge or stress eating. I understood myself a bit better and I love myself a whole lot more! My bigger accomplishment in the day is when I’ve deadlifted a new weight, rather than if I’ve finished that chocolate pastry. I don't know how long I'll do this for, but I know I've loved it so far, I look forward to it in the coming future at least!

The ones who noticed and wrote in to check what was up, if I’m okay – I love you. Those who didn’t, lets’ keep up this game of Andhadhun! Maybe you killed Tabu! 😐

Feb 2017, Jan 2018 and Jan 2019.

That's a happier heart with a better resting rate - from 2018 March to 2019 March. This is my best and happiest Before and After picture.

2. Calligraphy
On a rainy day in June, I remember I stumbled upon art work with a fountain pen and I went absolutely crazy afterwards with practice sheets, inks, pens, everything I could lay my hands on. I took free classes on skillshare, watched a ton of YouTube and Instagram tutorials, attended workshops and gifted some of my friends very awful looking things I doodled in the initial months. I found how this can be a calming and really happy time and realized putting pen to paper really makes me happy. Half my birthday wishes this year came with a word about this hobby of mine and some of my gifts came in the form of ink! And I have Tipping Point, today - May this tip toe well enough to be worth some points!




3. A city I could live in
Je t'aime, Paris. But, lets’ face it, I can never live in Paris. I’d need to really learn a great deal of French, buy a whole new wardrobe, learn to be very grumpy and as much as I love the Seine, the Eiffel and Pont des Alexandre, I can never live there. But, I found a place I CAN live in. Vienna. Its one of those places I wanted to visit as a kid because it sounded good to say. As I grew older, Austria beckoned for its beauty and Innsbruck’s peaks. On a larger trip that took us to eight cities, I can easily say Vienna was my favourite. English speaking, beautiful at every turn, Modern yet classical, wonderful public transport system, a socializing culture which revolves around coffee. I would very much like to move here someday! Yup, I will need all the money to survive here as well 😐




4. Learnt that Hardwork does not go unrecognized
A large part of the year was spent on a spin off which sucked the very blood, brains and sleep out of me. Which had me on conference calls for 10 hours a day, in office for 14 sometimes. By the end, everyone went their own ways and I started believing it doesn’t matter what you do, a corporate entity does not value you. Lets’ just say I’m still here and I’m happier. Patience goes an incredibly long way and you might be worth a whole lot more than you think - without having to haggle or throw any tantrums, silence goes a long long way too.



5. Keeping in touch
There’s so many people I couldn’t keep in touch with in the last few years because – there is this inertia to making that phone call, to sending that message because then you have so much to say. And later it would annoy the hell out of me that I’m falling out of touch with these very special people. I started leaving them voice messages on whatsapp and pestering them to do the same. Now we’re all atleast caught up with the basics of each others’ lives and we’re slowly inching back to that mad equation we shared. I got back in touch with my best friend from college - the one who I bonded with over F.R.I.E.N.D.S , so you see how long ago it was. And I only hope never to fall out of touch ever again. 

6. Anxiety, Sigh. It took a long time, but it finally made sense why some situations drove me up the wall, why I’d have sweaty palms, throbbing heart rates and a dry throat. I became cognizant and wise enough to realize I was having anxiety attacks constantly worrying about something or the other, plain stressing and it wasn't always going to turn out as badly as it played out in my head. But, it affected my day, my mood, my sleep, my relationships. Working out really really helped (Thank you, endorphins!) – but what also really helped was accepting that this is what I feel and its not my nature, but a condition that one can work on in small ways and get better. Happy to report, we’re moving past sweaty palms at minimum now.

7. Letting go
There’s a lot of toxic people I know of – who’ve done nothing better than fat shame, blatantly seek attention all the time or plain disregard and absolutely ignore things I’ve done or felt for them. 2018 was special, I learnt that I don’t need this level of toxic around me and made a conscious effort to disconnect from this feeling of rage they would manage to give me every few weeks. I moved on from a lot of shit, lots to go, but the journey has begun.